“I bought a shirt to wear to meet your office friends.” 

“No, you cannot wear that shirt,” the husband replied. 

“But why? I ensured it was modest and full-sleeved to look like a sanskari (virtuous) woman. That’s why I chose a shirt,” she protested. 

The husband shrugged. “A shirt will look odd. You have to wear a kurta.” 

This scenario may seem mundane, but it mirrors women’s everyday struggles over something as fundamental as the freedom to choose their clothing. The kurta is often deemed a symbol of modesty and culture, and it is seen by many in Indian society as a shield against “bad touch” or “bad gazes.” But why should the responsibility for deflecting inappropriate behaviour fall on women and their attire? 

The freedom to wear what one wants—something so basic it should be a right—becomes a privilege for one gender. And that’s where the feminist movement finds its voice. 

Why Feminism Matters

When people question why women are often labelled as feminists, they miss the point of the struggle. Feminism isn’t a fight against men; it is a fight for equality. Women’s voices grow louder because they come from a history of being denied fundamental rights— whether it’s choosing their clothing, pursuing higher education, attending social gatherings, or choosing a career path that defies traditional expectations. 

Feminism, at its core, advocates for the equality of all genders. According to Bell hooks (2000), feminism is “a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression.” It’s not about elevating one gender over the other but levelling the playing field so both men and women can thrive equally. 

Equality Isn’t About Uniform Solutions 

Let’s understand the concept of equality with a simple example. Imagine there are two individuals, X and Y. X is at a height of 5 feet, and Y is at 3 feet. The goal is for both to reach 10 feet. A logical solution would be to provide X with 5 feet of support and Y with 7 feet. However, if both were given the same support, the disparity would remain, with X reaching the goal and Y falling short. 

Now, think of X as a male and Y as a female. Women, historically and culturally, have been at a disadvantage and denied many fundamental rights and opportunities. To bring both genders to an equal level, it’s natural that more efforts are required to uplift women. This isn’t preferential treatment; it’s corrective action. 

The focus on women’s rights today is not because men’s problems are insignificant but because addressing women’s challenges is necessary to achieve parity. Once equality is reached, the conversation can shift to equal opportunities for both genders. 

The Reality Women Face 

The challenges women encounter are deeply rooted in societal norms. From being told to stay within the confines of “safe” career paths to being denied the freedom to wear what they want, women face restrictions disguised as protection. 

A woman choosing her clothing is often seen as a statement rather than a simple act. When denied this choice, it reflects a larger struggle—one that pushes women to question and fight societal norms. This questioning and fighting are what earn women the label of feminists. 

Feminism, however, isn’t about rejecting men or their struggles. Men, too, face societal pressures—being burdened with financial responsibilities, being told to suppress their emotions, or giving up their dreams to fulfil family obligations. But the solution isn’t to silence women’s voices to highlight men’s challenges. Instead, both genders must speak up for their respective issues without degrading or dismissing the other. 

Why Feminism Isn’t a Dirty Word

The term feminism has often been misunderstood, misused, and turned into a swear word. This distortion undermines the essence of feminism—a movement for humanity, for equality, for balance. 

Feminism isn’t about hating men or focusing solely on women’s issues. It’s about acknowledging that both genders face problems but recognizing that women have historically been deprived of fundamental rights. It’s about ensuring that a woman who was told “no” countless times gets the chance to say “yes” to her choices. 

The feminists you encounter—whether online or in person—are often people who have faced or witnessed countless restrictions. They’ve endured curfews, sacrifices, and denials of freedom, shaping their resolve to fight for what should be fundamental rights. 

The Role of Men in Equality

A crucial part of feminism is inviting men into the conversation. When a husband, brother, or father tells a woman not to wear certain clothes or pursue certain activities for her “safety,” the real question to ask is: Is this truly the right solution?

Would it not be better to address the behaviours of those who pose a threat rather than restricting the freedom of women? For instance, if a male relative or friend is known to make inappropriate comments, shouldn’t the focus be on correcting their behaviour rather than confining women to their rooms? 

Women are not a herd of goats to be pushed into safety pens. They are human beings deserving of freedom, dignity, and respect. 

The Bigger Picture

Equality isn’t just a women’s issue; it’s a societal issue. When both genders are given equal opportunities, society progresses. Denying women their freedom under the guise of protection only perpetuates inequality. 

Instead of pulling each other down by comparing struggles, let’s focus on uplifting everyone. Men must speak up about their challenges, just as women do. Feminism, at its heart, is about creating a world where both men and women can coexist with equal opportunities, rights, and dignity. 

So, let us allow women to speak, to raise their voices, and to fight for their rights. Even if they change the mind of just one person about the true meaning of feminism, it will contribute to a larger change. 

A Question for Reflection

The next time you ask your wife, sister, daughter, or female friend not to go out, not to wear certain clothes, or not to pursue something under the guise of safety, ask yourself: Is this the right choice?

Wouldn’t it be better to challenge the behaviours and mindsets that perpetuate these restrictions rather than placing the burden of change on women? After all, feminism is not about women against men—it’s about humans supporting each other for a better, fairer world. 

Reference:

Hooks, bell. (2000). Feminism is for Everybody: Passionate Politics. South End Press.

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Vaishali Jadon is a doctoral scholar at the Institute of Management Technology, Ghaziabad, specializing in Organizational Behavior. Her research interests include workplace loneliness, emotional labour, and mindfulness among employees.